Monday, July 27, 2009

What Will Make My Nails Grow Faster

Post-holiday depression

My holidays have been great, Cuba is aluzinante, I have fallen in Havana and I promised to return.



I spend all day counting things and how my holidays have been very short and I'm still not sure of many things, I can have my views but I do not see the right to comment on the bloody political issue theme by which they ask me. Not sure if it because most people know what my political side and wants to get some discussion or some people want to prove that my political side does not work, or instead want to tell you wonders, either sides say the same, some Things are good, others less so, although it notes that the country is evolving and that the lock is not allowed to do so much more. There are many problems, do not forget that God always sends hurricanes to the wrong side of the world, and that policy is not to blame, but despite all that, eses country has an inexplicable charm.



The journey was terrible, I hate planes. The return was even harder, but not for the trip, the worst is coming and encontarte that nothing has changed, that all problems continue where you left off, still there waiting. Will I have suffered (or still suffer) what they call post-holiday depression?



Two days back, I went to pick up the Saharawi children spend the holiday came to my town and surrounding area. I have to say they have been very few children, but I could see the illusion of a new family, which made me remember all the emotions that we lived at home when we also welcomed. This summer remember much at all child as they have stayed and I miss sitting nearby. Above all I miss him him, I took care in his tent, which I gave everything in the desert.


When I
I hoped to work piles of paper on my desk and my guy did not expect anything to work "damn crisis" I said. The crisis that has stuck in the middle to rob us of our dreams.



Then I had some holidays, sick of the songs from the bands every night singing the same thing when I have always greatly appreciated the work of the people who come every night to a village to listen to and not heard by people who dance more speakers, with live music. That makes me think "I'll be getting old? no!! I do not want to grow old! Could it be that I'm doing every day delicious? because we are talking about music in Cuba, you can listen to live music everywhere and I will not have any idea of \u200b\u200bmusic, but I sounded great.



My mood is back on the floor, do not write long jaboneo. I always say I need a change, need to get out of this world to me getting tired. I remember when I lived alone outside of my people, who thought only of returning to my home. I knew it would do nothing at home, make life dull and boring and in bad times I spent just wanted that. I spent a year thinking about going somewhere where I could do something useful and only pensaba en África. No se porque, me pregunto si esos sentimientos que yo tenía eran lo que algunos llaman "vocación", pero al final me decidí por una vida monótona y aburrida, equivocándome de profesión, una profesión que no me da ninguna satisfación personal ni ayuda a nadie que lo necesite y me decidí por dejar mis estudios, convirtiéndose la informática en mi profesión frustrada y prometiéndome no volver a coger un libro que tenga que ver algo con ordenadores. Todo lo dejé quizás, porque mi vocación, es la de muchas mujeres, seguir un instinto que por mucho que quiera negarlo, ahí está a veces, sólo a veces, el instinto de querer ser madre, que por otro lado creo I would not be able to be and not because I thought that in Africa, a place I did not know how to reach, it could not. Is that fear does not let us do whatever we want? Will, as always, I'm not brave enough? And here I am working for a company, making me more and more selfish as any in the first world. Absurd first world.

At least I have a job and be a mother someday, I've realized that I'm still not ready and that desire desapereció maybe someday. Is it because of selfishness? Or is it because I want more, be a free woman without ties?

I have so many questions, they are right when I say I'm indecisive, so I make the best choice to continue as I am to have everything clear. Or wait for the target back to take another path.



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